So I'm packing Nolan's lunch as I do every morning, but lately he hasn't been too fond of his daily applesauce cup, so I thought I'd load up his lunch box with a pre-packed bowl of Dole Diced Peaches in light syrup. This brought to mind an infamous moment of things-you-shouldn't-and-normally-wouldn't-do-but-now-have-done-because-you're-a-parent.
So it was baseball season at newly-opened Petco Park. A beautiful day, glorious sunshine, the Padres were on the field, and we had finally arrived in our seats in the second deck in right field. Behold, my son Nolan was hungry. So I dug into our plastic shopping bag and pulled out a bowl of diced peaches, peeled back the plastic cover, and started spooning the tasty fruit into my son's mouth when I realized the light syrup was simply making a mess all around me, dribbling on the floor and my jeans. What to do? Aha! I needed to somehow pour off the light syrup, then I could properly feed my child. But what have we here? Or, better, what have we not here? A trash can, of course. No trash cans mid-row. I would have to abandon my now starving child to walk back out of my row and section to find a proper place to dispose of said syrup.
But, no, I'm smarter than that! There must be a better plan. I must act swiftly if the proper sense of calm is to remain and the day-at-the-ballpark experience is to be enjoyed to its fullest.
So I did something I shall never do again, something I would never ever recommend to another under any circumstance - I drank the syrup.
Bad idea. Though it had no lingering ill effects, it's a non-alcoholic apertif not worth trying.
Why don't I learn my own lessons? After all, I blogged about another such "inedible edibles" experience last year (see: FATHERHOOD: Oh the the things you'll eat!).